THE UNABASHED SELF-PROMOTER’S GUIDE

THE UNABASHED SELF-PROMOTER’S GUIDE

$17.95
$9.95

The Unabashed Self-Promoter’s Guide -WHAT EVERY MAN, WOMAN, CHILD AND ORGANIZATION IN AMERICA NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT GETTING AHEAD BY EXPLOITING THE MEDIA digital copy over 300 pages.

A book used by a huge range of people from those with the most idealistic motives to those who have no other motive than simply wanting to get filthy rich.

Members of state legislatures and celebrities with well-known names are using this book to build their stature and promote their interests…

Entrepreneurs swear by it because it promotes their products and services to targeted constituencies who can buy and benefit from their babies.

Entertainers, charities and nonprofit organizations of every kind, even budding revolutionaries have all found in these pages the secrets they need to influence their publics.

And, not surprisingly, hundreds of authors and publishers have found here exactly what they need to sell more books.
This is the most detailed book ever written on how to get all the free space you want in the print media… and all the free air time on radio and television. What’s more the techniques work!

Updated ways Dr. Lant is using for FREE Exposure Online – www.writerssecrets.com

If you have a product or service this book will show you how to

– use the media/internet to get ahead and reap the considerable benefits that only the media can bestow on you.
– bring your product and service to the attention of just the people who can be motivated to buy it.

– get free print space… and free time on radio and television.

– reduce your advertising budget to tiny proportions without cutting into your ability to generate significant sales.

– develop high public exposure.

,
This book which seeks to show you the paramount role of media in American life and give you the steps you need to cash in on media for your own benefit… and the benefit of those who need to hear about you and what you’re promoting, be that product, service or cause.
Use this book in conjunction with the other 6 books in my Entrepreneurial Series.
Find out more at www.drjeffreylant.com

It’s very much in your interest, since it contains a host of recommendations on how to improve the profitability and efficiency of your business, whatever kind of business you’re running, profit or not-for-profit.

FREE consultation ($150 value). Expert shows you how to make money online.Call (757-647-2886) 24/7 Or Skype me homeprofitcoach NOW! Profit today!” Your success guaranteed.http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com/?rd=kr2fDPDb

“To be or not to be…” THAT ISN’T THE FRIGGIN’ QUESTION, Hamlet.

 

Hamlet_and_skull“To be or not to be…”

THAT ISN’T THE FRIGGIN’ QUESTION, Hamlet.

The question is whether you’re ever going to stop
talking about writing… and actually get started
learning how to write better than your friend
Will Shakespeare.

You know, he learned the ins and outs of
the writing trade at www.writerssecrets.com and has
never looked back, whilst you were wasting time
talking to a skull. There’s no money in that… and
it’s creepy, too.

Listen, Ham, there’s a free info kit available for
you now that’ll gets you started. No obligation

www.writerssecrets.com ‘Tis no madness in
this method!

George Quacker promotions
Jeffrey Lant Assoc., Inc.

All rights reserved

“To be or not to be…”

THAT ISN’T THE FRIGGIN’ QUESTION, Hamlet.

The question is whether you’re ever going to stop
talking about writing… and actually get started
learning how to write better than your friend
Will Shakespeare.

You know, he learned the ins and outs of
the writing trade at www.writerssecrets.com and has
never looked back, whilst you were wasting time
talking to a skull. There’s no money in that… and
it’s creepy, too.

Listen, Ham, there’s a free info kit available for
you now that’ll gets you started. No obligation

www.writerssecrets.com ‘Tis no madness in
this method!

FREE consultation ($150 value). Expert shows you how to make money online.Call (757-647-2886) 24/7 Or Skype me homeprofitcoach NOW! Profit today!” Your success guaranteed.http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com/?rd=kr2fDPDb
FREE consultation ($150 value). Expert shows you how to make money online.Call (757-647-2886) 24/7 Or Skype me homeprofitcoach NOW! Profit today!” Your success guaranteed.http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com/?rd=kr2fDPDb

Of Fairy Tales. Create Your Own…

We all probably have our favorite fairy tales, a bit of a fantasy with amazing characters, and of course the wicked villain.

They may include elements of magic, include a journey, perhaps a journey of self discovery. There will be good deeds and the wicked deeds, perhaps a prophecy or  revolution and usually a moral at the end of the story.

We love them. We loved them as a child and share them with our children. Well how about writing your own?

Lets get started…

First we need to start developing our tale. What characters will be in your story?

Where does the story take place? Let your imagination take over and build it up so you can take your readers there and make it real for them.

Start the momentum and figure out what sort of scenario will come about.

Write out your plot with a beginning, middle and end. You want it strong in the beginning. Strong in the middle and strong at the end.

Have a strong beginning that will draw your readers in. Again look to your favorite fairy tales for examples.

Let the action begin. Remember fairy tales are are usually fairly short.

Let your creation flow not worrying about the editing part until you’ve got your story down. Make as many drafts as you need until your fairy tale is complete with correct  spelling and all.

Turn it into a readable format, create a cover and share it with your friends, family or even get it published.

I’d love to hear your Fairy Tale ideas! Just post them in the comment box below.

FREE consultation ($150 value). Expert shows you how to make money online.Call (757-647-2886) 24/7 Or Skype me homeprofitcoach NOW! Profit today!” Your success guaranteed.http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com/?rd=kr2fDPDb

A Woman’s Interview Was Cancelled Because She Asked How Much The Job Paid

Via Taylor Byrnes / Twitter

And outraged Twitter users are calling for a boycott of the company

It’s been so drilled into all of us throughout our lives that it’s “uncouth” to talk about money. Discussing payment is the most awkward part of a job interview because of it. But that doesn’t mean talking compensation isn’t a seriously important part of the interview process. At the end of the day it’s a job — which is something you do for money so you can live.

Taylor Byrnes was past her initial phone interview for a menu development job at SkipTheDishes, a food delivery service based in Winnipeg, when she sent an email to an HR person at the company to ask what kind of salary and benefits came with the position. The HR person’s response was that asking that question made Byrnes a poor fit for the company, and her second interview was cancelled.

“Your questions are valid ones and we would like to clarify where we may have not communicated our position clearly,” the response began. “As a startup company, we seek out those who go out of their way to seek out challenges and new opportunities. We believe in hard work and perseverance in pursuit of company goals as opposed to focusing on compensation. Our corporate culture may be unique in this way, but it is paramount that staff display intrinsic motivation and are proven self-starters. For these reasons, questions about compensation and benefits at such an early stage is a concern related to organizational fit.”

Just to clarify, this “early stage” was after Byrnes had already completed one interview and been asked back for another. But anyway.

A follow-up email from SkipTheDishes read, “Your questions reveal that your priorities are not in sync with those of SkipTheDishes. At this time we will not be following through with our meeting this Thursday.”

Byrnes tweeted screencaps of the entire exchange.

THE CAMBRIDGE COMMON. AN OPINIONATED GUIDE FOR VISITORS.

THE CAMBRIDGE COMMON. AN OPINIONATED GUIDE FOR VISITORS.

 
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant

Author’s program note. Today is the first day of spring. I open the shutters, strictly closed against the dreary winter just passed. It is vibrant… it is radiant… it is the sun as we have not seen it for some months now.

Of course, being that we are in New England, we must take nothing for granted. The calendar says spring, but I reckon winter has at least one great blast left for us. Heavy wet snow in the morning, melted by afternoon.

Spring is to me a reminder, personally delivered, saying summer visitors are just around the corner. Prepare. If you’re not organized, they’ll come anyway, but you’ll be forced to tell each of them the facts that follow. This is time consuming, and results in visitors being given different “tours”… some long and leisurely, others rushed, because I have other things to do.

This year I intend to approach the matter differently. And so I am writing for you, dear traveler, the facts I feel that you must have and know about this place you are visiting. For this is no ordinary place, as you will soon see, and it would be most unfortunate if you came and went without knowing why it is so distinctive and significant.

How history should be told

I have been a writer on historical subjects for over 50 years. I am now clear on what it takes to write history that people will read and understand. For the goal of history is never to exult the writer, but to inform the reader.

The worst possible way of doing this is to rely on dates to carry the story. Pilgrims came here on such and such a date. Abraham Lincoln visited on such and such a date. George and Martha Washington were resident here from such and such a date to such and such a date.

This is not history; this is a historical obstacle course. It may work for crossword puzzles, but it does not do if you want to know and retain something of significance about this or any other place. Dates are significant only to provide clarity on just when certain things happened. But if you say nothing but dates, you must perforce bore your audience.

It is hardly any wonder why so many youngsters in our school system rate history at the bottom of their favorite classes and groan about the dates they were forced to memorize.

But history is not a matter of dates alone, it is a matter of people… what they did, when they did it, how they did it, why they did it. And so history becomes the greatest subject of all, for it is about all of us, each in our turn, each in our way, each in our time.

And so now I want you to join me on the north side of the Cambridge Common. It is where I have lived for the last 40 years or so. This does not necessarily mean that I know anything about the place, for the mere passing of time does not confer insight or a credible understanding of what is all around me on any given day.

It is my intention that when you put down this article and come and visit, you will be prepared for the great stories that took place just steps away, and which shaped a nation and the lives of millions.

We begin.

The Pilgrims landed in North America in 1620. Most were sick. All were debilitated. Many died. No one emerged unscathed. These people came through the terrible North Atlantic in pursuit of the God who governed and directed them.

They landed at Plymouth Rock, and were so bereft of provisions that when they found a few Indian graves near the beach, they ransacked the tombs for corn and other foodstuffs and ate the contents. The colony hung by a thread through the long terrible winter of 1621. The spirit may have been willing, but the bodies, frail and pathetic, were weak.

It took them a full decade to arrive at what was then called Newtowne. Sir Richard Saltonstall, from a prominent English family, landed his party at a bend in the Charles River. And to show you how little time has elapsed from that event, I used to banter with Senator William Saltonstall, a direct descendant, in summers at Manchester-by-the-Sea. We must not, therefore, think of the Pilgrims as far distant, but as much closer to us than we usually allow.

The Pilgrims were motivated by two major things. One, and always prime, was their direct relationship with God. But they also wanted to know what was “out there”. To understand these early days and what has come since, we must do the conjuring trick of erasing from our minds any idea, anything we consider modern, and put ourselves precisely in the shoes of the Pilgrims, whose survival on this continent was not guaranteed, and for whom longevity seemed an elusive objective.

Nonetheless, they regularly sent out scouting parties to see what they could see of the natives, who they knew were there, and of the many things they knew nothing about at all. Thus what takes the modern traveler just about 53 minutes by car, from Plymouth to Cambridge, took ten years… with no path, no guide, not even wayward hearsay and gossip to enlighten them. We must never forget how far they went when going anywhere at all was a matter of faith and determination.

In due course, they arrived at Newtowne, a place of swamps and disease. Their needs were basic and immediate… which leads to the first macabre tale. On the south side of the Common, just up a bit from what much later became Harvard Square, you will find a cemetery… unkempt… a place for vagrants… an outdoor urinal. Thus showing there is no respect for the dead.

This, curiously enough, was a Puritan belief as well. The first cemetery that was placed on that sight offered no reverence for the dead. Pilgrims who died were thrown over the parapet to be eaten by beasts. There is no demarcation left of just where this way of burial was handled. The marks have been lost over time.

It often puzzled me why the bodies were treated with such scant respect… but then I began to think of all these Pilgrims had to do to keep body and soul together under the most unhappy circumstances. There was simply too much to do, and too few to do it to worry about whether the mourning niceties had been kept. Thus once the spirit left the body, the body was thrust away, a thing of no significance whatsoever, and treated accordingly.

Created in 1630

The Cambridge Common was created in 1630. It was a place for the members of the congregation to pasture their cows and other livestock. The enclosure movement, which rocked English society in the 18th Century, was not yet common in North America. The communal land that constitutes the Common was therefore at the heart of their way of living.

It was not that they necessarily liked each other, it was that they needed each other. And perhaps the worst thing that can happen to a people is they no longer need each other, and so become careless about their relations, thus leading to terrible social consequences.

On the Common, just 8.5 acres in size, more was going on than just tethering animals on common ground. When you stand in the middle of the Common as I have done so many times over 40 years, you must be aware of the great events that occurred all around you.

First, in the 17th Century, the sheer arrival of these people and their inspiring trek to religious freedom for all constituted an event of epic importance. This was the first place in the world where genuine freedom of belief came to exist. Of course, it didn’t happen without incident or tragedy. No great event involving religion has ever taken place without brutality and intolerance. It seems that every culture says, in its own way, “I love me, so I have no regard for thee.”

The true message of New England and of the Common is that here, people finally came to grips with the necessity for tolerance and diversity… which ultimately became the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Look around you now… if you are a believer, you are welcome here to believe. If you are a non believer, you are welcome here to believe nothing more than you care to. These are grand ideas, by no means inevitable.

Unfortunately, of course, not everyone agreed. And so, on the perimeter along what is now Massachusetts Avenue, there is a plaque, so often covered with weeds, commemorating the evacuation of the Reverend Thomas Hooker from his intolerable situation in 1636.

It is worth noting that not only was religious diversity advanced here, but the rights of women too. Anne Hutchinson (1591-1643) was not only a great theologian, but she was a woman doing the theological work of men, suffering accordingly.

The next great event

The next great idea which came alive on the Common was the American Revolution. On these grounds, now more accustomed to frisbees and soccer balls, General George Washington took plow boys and transformed them into soldiers, and ultimately then these soldiers into victory.

Washington moved daily from his grand home on Brattle Street, confiscated from the town’s leading merchant Henry Vassal, who remained loyal to the Crown. Washington on a nice day like this would walk to his office in what is now Harvard Yard, just a few blocks away. He was a great man. He was a man who might have been king. But he stopped along the way, to check on the well being of his troops. This is what good leaders do.

When you see the Common, you must imagine it as it was in its various stages. Troops during the Revolution slept under hastily erected tents, which might mean bringing the materials from home, since the commissary of the newly formed United States was meager, and there was no money for amenities. Men grew hardened under such circumstances or they died; there was no middle ground.

Most of them died through disease. What you must consider when you look about the Common is how they lived their lives. The biggest problem of course was what to do with all the human waste, and that of the horses. It was noisome… it was dangerous. And the camp on the Common teetered on the brink of demise from disease.

The great figures of the revolution were not nearly as important just then as the people who discarded the waste and kept disease at bay. The Marquis de Lafayette, General Tadeusz Kościuszko, Baron von Steuben, Casimir Pulaski, Washington himself… these were the grand names, but not always the most important people.

Martha Washington came too. It used to be thought that Martha Washington was a plain woman of no particular personal regard, but that has proven to be wrong. She was in 1776 age 45, a widow of charm and resources. Too little is said about her trips to Cambridge, or for that matter the long weary days at Mt. Vernon. “Remember the ladies”, Abigail Adams had said to her husband John (on March 31, 1776). However until women’s studies had commenced centuries later, they were all too often neglected.

The role of Harvard, hard by the Common

Harvard College was formed in 1636. It was generally conceded throughout the Puritan ranks that an educational institution of higher learning was needed, and as quickly as possible. God required foot soldiers to preach the Holy Gospel, and these self-same preachers must have the superior education needed to propound and maintain the scripture of their particular belief. Harvard College was the result, as were the seven churches that surround the Common… a model of civic development existing nowhere else.

Harvard was named after the man who made its first bequest, John Harvard. Because there were no bridges over the Charles River until 1662, it was very difficult to go to Boston. College officials thought that was just as well. After all, Boston was not as Godly as Cambridge, but it was the center of business and trade in all of New England. Cambridge meant God, Boston meant Mammon… and good times for wayward boys. Some things never change.

When you visit

I hope now through these brief words you understand why I regard these handful of acres as among the very most important and significant in our entire history. Personally, I feel blessed at the thought that I am able to advance and maintain the work necessary to keep the true meaning of this worthy spot vibrant and alive, forever.

It is a thrill and it is necessary, for without people who remember history, there will be no history to remember.

Musical note

I have selected to accompany this article the “Old 100th” hymn. Composed in 1551 by Loys Bourgeois, it is arguably the most well known hymn in the Christian repertoire. It is very probably the first hymn rendered by the Pilgrims upon their arrival, although because there are many versions of the lyrics, we cannot be sure which ones the Pilgrims used.

“All people that on earth do dwell,
Sing to the Lord with cheerful voice.
Him serve with fear, His praise forth tell;
Come ye before Him and rejoice.”

And so, taking their strength from God’s mercy, they found the strength they needed to confront another day.

Click here to hear the song.

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Updated !!!The boy next door… the best of the Great Republic. You sleep easy throughthe night because of him… and millions like him. A Tribute!

Updated !!!The boy next door… the best of the Great Republic. You sleep easy throughthe night because of him… and millions like him. A Tribute!

 

 

I wanted to share with each of you this special occassion!

The boy next door… the best of the Great Republic. You sleep easy through the night because of him… and millions like him. A Tribute!

Author’s program note. When was the last time you considered the state of our Great Republic and did anything — anything at all — to sustain and improve it?

If you cannot immediately say and cannot recall what you did, if you have nothing but rancorous thoughts and feelings about our continuing great experiment in the governance and well being of mankind, then stop and focus your full, undivided attention on this article and its subject: Howard Hector Martell, Jr. For this day, like every other day over the past 20 years, Howard Martell has served us… you, me, the Great Republic, all of us able to live life as we wish because of him and his colleagues in every great service of our great nation.

To set the stage for this story, to provide the essential sound, I have selected music from one of the greatest public affairs programs ever — “Victory at Sea.” It is a documentary television series about naval warfare during World War II that was originally broadcast by NBC in 1952-1953. The stirring music was composed by Richard Rodgers and Robert Russell Bennett. Rodgers, well known for a string of iconic Broadway musicals, contributed 13 “themes”; short piano compositions a minute or two in length. Bennett did the scoring, transforming Rodger’s themes into a variety of moods, all designed to touch your heart and fire your imagination. The result was pure magic.

Find out for yourself. Go now to any search engine. Listen to a few of the “themes” to get you started. I like “Hard Work and Horseplay”, “Theme of the Fast Carriers” and, of course, “The Song of the High Seas.” However, to honor Howard Martell, listen to “Guadalcanal March.”  It is the essence of what a grand march should be… the kind of march Howard has so well earned… I’m playing it now as I write.

New London.

New London, Connecticut is a seaport city and a port of entry on the northeast coast of the United States. It is located at the mouth of the Thames River which locals demand you pronounce to rhyme with “James”, unlike the great river of London, England which rhymes with ‘hems”. The folks in New London insist upon their rendering; after all, they were part of the victorious Revolution that tossed the Brits out — and their eccentric pronunciations. As you hear this said, you begin to grasp the fact that New London is not merely a place of picturesque aspects; just what meets the eye. Rather, it is a place where young boys glimpse the great sea at hand, so beckoning, and dream dreams of faraway places and what life can be.

Howie Martell was such a boy.

He was born June 27,1973, attended local schools, graduating from Griswold High School. People remember him, if they remember him at all, as shy, uncertain; a boy who would smile at you… but only after you had smiled at him. Teachers with many students to instruct would remember him indistinctly and call him “average.” But such an appraisal would have been incomplete, inaccurate, failing to capture his essence, for this boy was a dreamer of great dreams… and New London, for centuries the home port of audacious mariners, offered him the means to live them, mere dreams no longer.

On August 10, 1992, just 19, he left the comfort of family, friends, the only place he had ever known, placing his future in the hands of strangers who would, in due course and short order, become comrades, a word civilians may know but so seldom understand. And so Howard Martell entered the service of the Great Republic, discovering a destination more important than any of the 48 countries he came to visit. He found himself… and became a man.

From this point, his resume tells the story… it is all USN, the resume of a man who studied hard, knew his business — the Great Republic’s business — and was esteemed by superiors who always found him ready to assist, eager to learn, and above all trustworthy and responsible.

In the process a man was shaped who was the complete Navy professional, respected by all, able to be, as events required, a man who could lead, a man who would be loyal, a man you wanted on your team, because he (and this touches the heart of this man) always stood for the success of his team, never just his own. As people came to know him, they saw this… and admired the man who put collective success above mere personal gain. Thus the Navy took Howard Martell, once a shy boy no one could quite remember, to its heart. He received one deserved honor after another… Navy Good Conduct Medal… six times… Navy & Marine Corps Achievement Medal… four times… Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal… Iraq Campaign Medal… two times. And most telling of all a plaque from his fellow First Class Petty Officers who thereby saluted one of their own. He was indeed the complete Navy man…  a man who twenty years before had made the right decision.

The need for service in the age of selfishness.

It is a truism that older citizens will engage in endless rodomontades which detail the innumerable outrages perpetrated by the young against society. How they are ill-educated, lazy, unkempt, unclean of body and language. How they cannot be depended upon… how they flout all established behavior, video game obsessed wastrels who cannot be trusted and will never amount to a hill of beans. Thus goes the jeremiad; you can catch a whiff of it whenever two adults of fifty or so gather. From the very start of the first civilization each man steps into this argument in his maturity, as easily as he dons casual clothes. It is one of the perqs of aging, and no senior citizen will ever give up this sacred right to pontificate. I shall not give it up either and so I give you some pungent thoughts on the matter of service, a concept that alternates between being an afterthought and the salvation of the nation. What we require is calm reflection and sensible policies on the matter. And so I choose to use my words not to grumble but to exhort… to touch a shy boy or girl reading this article and help them both select the responsible path, the path trod by Howard Martell and generations of young people before… the path of service… and the abiding need of the Great Republic for… you!

Young friend, our way of governance, our core beliefs, the very future of our noble enterprise is not only challenged, but at risk. You have a choice — mindless dissipation and decay, or personal development and redemption through the bestowal of your time, mind and heart to the pressing affairs of the Great Republic. In short, you can ignobly remain part of the problem, or become infinitely more valuable as part of the solution.

There is nothing neutral about this decision. It is of the greatest possible consequence and can only be made by you. A great idea, the greatest notion of statecraft ever propounded, the Great Republic itself awaits your verdict, hopeful, expectant, confident. Howie Martell made the right choice. Will you?

… And now it is time to end Howard’s military career with all the pomp and circumstance he has earned… and which a grateful Navy can provide.

Stand forward Petty Officer First Class Howard Hector Martell, Jr.. For your service, your nation, your friends, family and comrades mean to honor you before the world in due recognition for what you have so abundantly given… above all the gift of loyalty and fidelity to a great institution so needed by this great nation.

And so through each of the hallowed retirement traditions all Naval personnel know so well… until this event, at once festive and solemn, reaches the Shadow Box. This is a symbol of a sailor’s many career accomplishments and recognitions. Shadow boxes contain a U.S. flag folded into a triangle, ribbons and medals, insignia and revered devices. They act as a reminder of ranks earned by the retiree and the awards received. It is a mark of the highest honor and cherished accordingly. Yours, Howard, comes complete with the unqualified gratitude of the nation you have served so well… none better… and the sincere thanks of us all. May God grant you sunshine and a fair wind to your many ports of call still to come.

Envoi.

End this article by returning to any search engine and playing the “Victory at Sea” theme. It remains glorious.

About the Author

Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today. Republished with author’s permission by Howard Martell <a http://homeprofitcoach.com/associates  Check out Surveys Paid ->  http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com/?rd=pq334y8a

Why My Kids Need Me To Be Impert

motherhood

SchulteProductions / iStock

I dropped my 8-year-old off at her classroom today and the last thing I saw was a little hole in the center of her shirt and a head full of tousled, knotted hair. Our most recent uninvited house guests, the head lice, effectively caused an embargo in our parts on all hairbrush usage.

A few weeks ago, the head lice swept through our school district like wildfire, jumping with unabashed glee onto any little girl unfortunate enough to have long and luxurious locks, much to the horror of every self-respecting mother in the school. After the great poisoning ordeal necessary to rid ourselves of said guests, I had yet to make it to the store to purchase new grooming tools. Needless to say, there’s a lot of tangled little girl hair in our house. We make our sacrifices right?

The next stop today, dropping the 5-year-old off at her preschool class, she herself sporting wilting magenta- and teal-colored feathers in her hair (her design) affixed with a pipe cleaner no less. It was only then that I happened to overhear another mom, announce in a singsong voice “It’s picture day today!  We’re so excited!”

I’ll admit, I knew it was picture day—in the most watery and distracted, trying to hold too many details in my head all at once kind of way. Of course the messenger mom had her child perfectly groomed in beautiful new clothes, a curly ponytail, and a matching bow (a matching bow! Where does one even source these things?). And here I am, one kid already in class with rip in her shirt and one kid with feathers in her hair and chocolate milk smears dried on her cheek. This is what parenting is like for me. It’s one big cornflake getting stepped on in the kitchen with a bare foot. The kids are still alive—don’t get me wrong. They even seem to be thriving despite the fact that their socks never match (this is not an exaggeration).

♦♦♦

I found the above excerpt in my writing files. I began writing this piece five years ago. My girls are long past the snarled hair phase (I’m relieved.) We haven’t had a visit from the head lice since then (thanks be to Jesus), and I’m still a pretty imperfect mom (the socks remain unmatched). My eldest, now 12, had a meltdown last night; she had worked herself into such a worried and nervous state about the day she would have to move out of the house and away from us.

I knew that this was one of those moments in motherhood where I was being presented with an ideal opportunity to comfort her and walk her through the truth: that in actuality, chances were quite high that she’d be absolutely delighted to get the hell out of our house in six years. I kept thinking this. I kept taking deep breaths on the verge of dropping my straight up wisdom on her, but god, I was so tired. We’d had such a busy weekend, and all I wanted to do was just sit in silence and zone out on my phone.

So instead of using the moment to bring us closer and open up a conversation about confidence in the beauty of the future, I kept repeating—in between scrolling on Instagram and watching my youngest do constant and jarring gymnastic flips on the floor in front of me—“It’s OK, babe, it’ll be fine, seriously. You don’t need to stress about that. Now will you please go brush your teeth and get ready for bed?” (aka, oh my god, hypothetical problems are not real problems! Please just leave me alone for five minutes!).

I blew it. Yep, kind of like picture day. I see women on social media who seem to have this motherhood deal dialed. They do things like take their five kids to the park and manage to write (and post!) a blog entry while the kids are playing. There are moms at our schools who actually have the time and energy (and desire!) to put together enriching activities like after-school computer clubs. And then there’s me. I’m just over here getting the warning letter from the school regarding chronic tardies and their disruptiveness to the classroom, or pushing the daughter who wants to cuddle off my lap because her elbows are too sharp and her wet hair is too cold.

I admire (and I’m jealous of) the moms out there who can pull off the things that I cannot. Although when it comes to my personal life, are those the things that really matter? Do I need to meet a certain number of perfectionistic standards—my own—every week? Do I need to be available for activity development, deep conversations, and cuddling every single time? I used to think I did, like somehow well-brushed hair and perfect advice would eventually save my children from experiencing any trauma in their lives.

I don’t believe that anymore. In fact, the older they get, the more apparent it becomes that a little bit of imperfection in their home lives actually makes it easier for them to deal with disappointment in their public lives. So it’s a learning process for all of us. I’m learning to let my imperfection flag fly, and they’re learning that they can take care of their own needs. Or at least they can rest assured that in six to eight years when they (hopefully) want to move out into the world on their own, they’ll be able to handle it—even if they’re running late and wearing mismatched socks .

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Author: HO

We Are Raising Good Humans, So Stop With The ‘Special Snowflake’ Bullsh*t

jonathanfilskov-photography / iStock

I was guilty of a certain way of thinking before I had kids: Letting a child have their way, negotiate with you, or talk you out of your decision creates nothing but an asshole.

But I would never let that happen to my kids. I would always be the boss.

I am not embarrassed to admit this. I know most parents had similar thoughts before they had kids.

It is so easy to think this way before you have children of your own. While you are at a romantic dinner, all dressed up, listening to a toddler scream “I don’t like you” at their mother, the only thoughts you are capable of having in that moment are likely unkind. And anyone who has witnessed such behavior before becoming a parent and responded with, “Oh, he is just having a bad day and is trying to express himself,” is much better than me. So much better. Also, they were probably very drunk.

Parents don’t want to raise asshats, and most of us know it is our job to ensure that doesn’t happen. But just because you see a parent discussing options with their child or letting them “scream it out,” it doesn’t mean they think their child is a precious snowflake who should never have to compromise and should always gets their way. It doesn’t mean the child is a spoiled dickweed who will never make it in the real world.

If you judge a parent by watching them for two minutes, you are the dickweed, my friend.

Many of us take different approaches to raising our children. Sometimes we do negotiate with them. There are moments when we do hear them out because they actually have valid points. They are real people with real feelings, and their voices matter too.

There was the time my son asked if he could buy a stack of red plastic shot glasses. I wasn’t worried about other parents judging me if my child had a container explicitly used for taking shots of booze. I was worried about my son scattering the glasses all over our kitchen as his mini experiments dripped out and made not-so-mini messes all over the place. So I said no — until he told me how long he had been wanting them because “they are so cute and will be perfect for drinking milk out of because sometimes I only want a mini cup of milk.” This was me showing him empathy, letting him be heard, and letting him know he is safe to express himself and his emotions.

And he does, in fact, drink mini cups of milk while extending his pinky as he sips because “this is how the fancy, rich people do it.” Okay, kill me now, you can have as many of these shot glasses as you want, kid, and can you be any cuter? This set of glasses is one of his favorite things, and I’m glad he talked me into the purchase. It’s probably the best $5 I’ve ever spent. He still appreciated them, he still said thank you, and he still knows how to behave in a respectful manner even though I changed my mind.

Kids are smart, we all know it, but sometimes our knee-jerk reaction is to overrule them because we just can’t, or we are too tired, or we don’t really know what the fuck they are talking about.

The problem is, our kids are human, not machines. They need room to make mistakes and decisions for themselves. These can start small and get bigger as they grow. I like it when my kids offer a healthy argument, like the time my son was told he shouldn’t wear a necklace because he was boy. The person who said it to him was an adult, and my son’s response was golden, “I like it, and someone I like gave it to me, and I will wear it because I want to.” I can’t help but think that if I’d trained him to be a little robot who never spoke his mind, he wouldn’t have known how to stand his ground.

When we give our kids the opportunity to speak, to explain their thoughts, we are giving them a voice and the confidence to ask for what they want and need. The value of this and its rewards are huge, both in the present moment and later in life.

They have to learn how to stand up for themselves at some point, so why not start early when you can teach them how to do it without being a dickweed? I am not waiting until my kids are 18 to give them permission to have a voice. It is theirs to use now, and I’m going to help them channel it to become thoughtful, articulate, vocal world citizens.

I would much rather have kids who stand up for themselves and others and speak up when they think something is unfair than kids who think they have to go with the flow or accept a punishment for something that was an accident — all because they are meant to be “seen, not heard.” Nope, not my kids.

If helping my kids grow into good people by letting them use their voices in respectful ways or allowing them to have opinions that oppose mine means that they’re “special snowflakes,” then I don’t give a flying fuck. It is 2017, and the way we parent now looks different to those who were raised in previous generations. We let our kids have more choices and different experiences because we want better for them, and I think that is a noble cause. We are constantly being reminded to “know better, do better,” and I’m simply putting that thought into action. And if my kids serve as proof, I’m doing a damn good job.

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Author: HOMEPROFITCOACH

No More Cold Calls: The Complete Guide To Generating — And Closing — All The Prospects You Need To Become A Multi-Millionaire By Selling Your Service

If you are selling a service in America and are not yet a millionaire it had better be 1) because you have only been in business a short time, or 2) you expect a maiden aunt to leave you a bundle. There is no other reason not to be rich, really rich, from selling services.
And this book proves it.
Here in the next 16 chapters, you get precisely what you need to create the process that provides all the prospects you need to become a millionaire selling your service . . . and how to work with these prospects so your millionaire status is assured.
This is no idle claim on my part, either. For the last fourteen years, I have helped literally millions of people launch, develop and maintain businesses that have delivered their financial objectives.
In the pages ahead, I shall spare no effort to give you just what you need to fulfill the promise of this book’s title. If you’ve read one of my books before, you know precisely what I mean. It is my life’s aim to upgrade the quality of “how-to” information so that it really does deliver what the author promises. I continue to achieve this objective here.
In the pages of this book, I stand forth as your consultant. I shall be urging you, prodding you, even occasionally angering and infuriating you to become the consummate — and most successful — service seller possible. Like many people who read my material, you may find the necessary tasks exhausting … but like many more, you will probably thank me for my candor, hard-hitting honesty and, I am glad to report, my integrity. I do not offer some magical road to success (like many less scrupulous “how-to” practitioners).. . but I do offer a road that will take you to where you want to go … if you are willing to stay on it.
What You’ll Find In These Pages
This book is divided into 16 chapters and, briefly, I’d like to introduce them to you.
I begin the book in Chapter 1 with “Thirty Reasons Why You’re Currently Sabotaging Your Chances Of Becoming A Multi-Millionaire Selling Services.” If you solve these thirty problems, you will become a millionaire selling your service. That’s why if you find yourself failing to reach this objective, you should return to this chapter again and again until you have solved every single one of these problems.
In Chapter 2, you’ll learn how to create the Multi-Million Dollar Plan. Here you start breaking away from the service sellers whose businesses run them to become the future millionaire who uses your business to make money. You know about having to plan your work and work your plan . . . here are the details you need so you can successfully do so.
Once you’ve got the plan, you need to gather — and store — client- centered cash copy. That’s what you’ll learn to do in Chapter 3. This is the process you must go through before you write any marketing communications. Most service sellers don’t plan these communications … and don’t do what’s necessary to get the proper information they need to motivate people. They just write. Result? They don’t make their investment back, much less any profit.
Once you’ve got the right material — the skeleton — for your marketing communications, then and only then should you produce them. In Chapter 4, you’ll master the components of marketing communications that get your prospects to respond … and learn how to create all the communications themselves. Thereafter you’ll never be at a loss for how to create the right marketing communication . . . the communication that gets the person you’re addressing to do what you want him to do!
Before you start using these powerful marketing communications, however, you’ve got some more work to do in your office. In Chapter 5, you’ll find out how to turn your personal computer into the most client-centered marketing department imaginable. You’ll find out what to put in it and how to organize all your data so that you are prepared to deal effectively with both prospects and clients- so you get more business faster!
FREE consultation ($150 value). Expert shows you how to make money online.Call (757-647-2886) 24/7 Or Skype me homeprofitcoach NOW! Profit today!” Your success guaranteed.http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com/?rd=kr2fDPDb

A Connoisseur’s Journey: Being the artful memoirs of a man of wit, discernment, pluck, and joy.

 

Multi- award winning, gloriously written and unique memoir by Dr. Jeffrey Lant.
Awarded FIRST in Class at Southern California Book Festival.
SECOND in Class at the Great Midwest Book Festival.
THIRD in Class at the London (England) Book Festival.
THIRD in Class at the New England Book Fare.
Dr. Lant also was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award with a focus on “A Connoisseur’s Journey” with this citation.
“Dr. Jeffrey Lant. On behalf of the citizens of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I congratulate you on the release of your Memoir, ‘A Connoisseur’s Journey’. Your work is a ground-breaking experiment into the use of musical citations in literature, adding depth and nuance to the reading experience.”
(signed) Charles D. Baker, Governor and Karyn E.Polito, Lieutenant Governor

This is Dr. Lant’s twentieth book, but only the first of his memoirs. Over the course of his long connection with books, the discovery, the reading, the writing, the rewriting and rereading He has come across many volumes of memoirs, some glorious and gloriously written, some so forgettable that you cannot remember the author even a moment after putting the dreary pages down, vowing to avoid him like the plague forever after. However, dear reader, not so here. Dr. Lant shall give you what you want in a memoir… humor, indiscretion, secrets, stories of the rich and famous, stories about places and situations you’ve longed to visit and enjoy. You will learn much in the least demanding of ways… and feel more and more intelligent as you read.

You will be in the hands of a man of learning, privilege, and audacity, who has been there, done that, and lived to write the tale. There is nothing fair or objective in what you’re about to read. Nor should there be. For a memoir is all about you, your life, your point of view, your unique journey wherever on Earth and in whatever way you choose to make it. And if some — even you! — cavil or object to even a single word or sentiment, why then write your own memoirs, for the genre is open to all.

 

FREE consultation ($150 value). Expert shows you how to make money online.Call (757-647-2886) 24/7 Or Skype me homeprofitcoach NOW! Profit today!” Your success guaranteed.http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com/?rd=kr2fDPDb

Author: HOMEPROFITCOACH